what I wrote:
CLiMB iF YOU WiLL
run up the hill
don’t you trust anyone
till you sing
where the word of god won’t dull the sound
climb, if you will,
up this tree and we’ll reach
for the fruit
that will leave us stoned and bruised and lonely
free and lonely
touch, if you must
touch my face let me blush
hold my waist
spin the cloth into the fray
on repeat when I’m sixty-four
507,000 people lying side by side
1 ton of lava in their lungs
voltage in their digits
on the same high wire lullaby that conceived them
a million years ago
ah but you
and the slope of your back
and our flash in the pan-American relief
I’ll scrawl, if I may,
up your side
and I’ll shake down your hide
for to sleep without belief baby baby baby
come, if you will
come
canyons
die
Song:
“When It Began” – The Replacements, All Shook Down (1990)
- Verse starts low, ends high just before chorus. Chorus reinforces the upper register but does not push it further. The bridge is the interesting part. Makes use of minor 2nd intervals, singer Paul Westerberg delivers highest note of song prior to final chorus.
- I’ve always been a huge fan of melodies in the major scale that leave out the minor 2nd intervals, but I never really realized this song was doing it. Just another reason why I’ve found this song so appealing. I think I’ll try experimenting with this for my composition.
- The melody also has somewhat of a 2 steps forward 1 step back approach. It compensates for every ascension by going back down again. Definitely contributes to the feeling of yearning the song evokes.
- Overall a simple, but clever melody. Worth emulating.
put yr songs up!
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